Time Flies in a Blink of an Eye

It has been awhile since my last post, okay not awhile but you get the point. 

It is really heartening to read through what I have wrote in the past and it does bring back memories. The good, the bad and sometimes shiver down my spine.

What got me back was the calling from my past self, after reading what I wrote in the past, it does help to open up my mind and remind me of what the reason why I started in the first places.

To share my thoughts as well as providing insight to people who are feeling the same way. More importantly it set as a reminder to my future self to not fall in the same trap that the past self did.

But today this post isn't about negative thought that I have but in fact I been more positive as ever, I started listening to podcast a few months back and it taught me alot, regarding my work, yes I am a grown up now and had started working. SURPRISE!!!! Jokes aside, it also taught me about positivity, thinking positively and many life lesson along the way.

This all started with a thought that I had, what I want to achieve in life. I knew I didn't put in much effort in school but somehow going to adulthood has make me realize what I really want to achieve, where do I picture myself in a few years time, what do I want my friends, family and peers to see me as?

And it shock me. Why you may ask. Because I want to be successful but the path that I am on won't cut it. Thus I began to focus to improve myself, going for meetup to meet new people and make new connection. (Truth to be told, it is a really bold step for me as it is really out of my comfort zone) But so far it has been positive.

Another bold step that I told was to join toastmaster, yes public speaking. ME? Public speaking? It's hard to believe why I even join, but the motivation lies in what I want to be in the future, if I foresaw myself to be successful then public speaking isn't something I can avoid therefore I have to start this bold step and hope that it will pay out in the future. I am sure it will haha.

Life is also been a mix feeling so far. I make a big decision which I am not sure if I will regret in the future recently. Confusion, guilt, relieve, happiness, sadness etc. All kind of feelings good and bad, but if that is the decision I choose to made, I better hold on to it.

This is also one of the reason why I started writing yet again, because I need to let it go, let it gooooo because it is healthy, healthy to share your thought, to say out your feelings. I am an introvert if you haven't realized yet from all my post, haha. Although I may seem very outspoken or etc, but deep down I am an introvert. I always have a hard time connecting with people in this deep level where I can share my feeling and everything just bottom up inside of me. But I guess, writing it down is a form of release??

Times flies, really. It's been 6 years since my last post and 3 years since I started on a journey and of course the journey has ended because I decided that the train isn't leading it to where I foresee to go. I hope I don't regret this decision, it was really a wonderful train journey but the destination had become blurry and may not be the places I want to go.

**deep breath**

**deep thinking**

I guess it was my choice and I had to accept this decision, maybe a few years down the road when I look back, I may feel how dumb I was or how good that decision is? Who knows right? Who know where the future lead. But just because I do not know where the future lead, doesn't mean I should be afraid, I need to remind myself that the unknown is scary but it is also where opportunity lies.

When you ever second guess yourself, it is always good to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, what do you want? Where do you see yourself in the future? Are you on the right path? What your decision, and if you had decided, focus on committing to it as that is the best damn choice you can make for you right there right now.

I would like to end it off with a quote, your choice, your future, choose wisely.